The first time I came here, I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be nice to cook dinner?
So I said, Perrin? Are these new pots and pans?
Because I can’t use these pots and pans if somebody else has cooked in them before me.
And he gave me this look. As though that was weird.
And I said, You don’t honestly expect us to eat the microscopic bits of food that other people, from a different country, have eaten? And maybe burned? Or not cooked through to a proper temperature as indicated by an instant-read meat thermometer?
And he gave me the number to call so that I didn’t have to bother him about anything.

“A real revelation. … This play – smart, funny, sardonic and wonderfully absurd – is a game-changer. Jacqmin gives us a goofily insightful look at development, selling out, compromise, culture clash, money, marriage, adultery and the importance of home.” – Hedy Weiss, Chicago Sun-Times

Still reeling from the destruction of her New York City apartment by a construction crane, Rachel accepts a job offer in Dubai as an environmental friendliness consultant. She attempts to make her new life abroad “nice,” in the face of all the incomprehensible contradictions she encounters: an indoor ski slope, a “build-what-you-want” mandate, a submarine simulator and a five-bedroom luxury condo that isn’t quite big enough. Why is being an American abroad still such a difficult thing to justify? And why is home such an impossible thing to define?

World premiere, Steppenwolf Theatre Company, 2009